It's no question our culture is saturated with unhealthy messages of what beauty and confidence are: if only we were Hollywood's current idea of bodily perfection or we had a hit record or a million bucks in the bank, we would have something to smile about. Real confidence is a state of mind which is much broader and far more accessible than that, not an exclusive premium for a certain type of person.
So here we go, just three easy ways to instantly amplify your happy thoughts and your sense of security in who you are. It's only as I was editing this that I realized these are all related to your core (abdominals and back, the root of your strength and self-awareness). Go figure!
1. DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 10
I know, exercise isn’t the easiest or sexiest way to start this list, but bear with me. We all know a regular workout is essentially to a healthy life, but it's easy to get intimidated by everything they say you "need" to do to get that "bikini body" and anything less just isn't worth your time. I am a firm believer that every little bit counts (and that a rock-hard bikini bod isn't the goal for everyone).
Quick fix: Sometimes we need a little lift but don’t have the time or desire to get full-on Jillian Michaels with it. I know! Getting down and doing a few push-ups (10-20, depending on your fitness level) and/or some *ab work will give you more energy, flush your skin with a little color, and help clear your mind. It may even stop junk food cravings in its tracks!
*I am a huge fan of core work. Whenever I’m feeling just blah I like to fire up my abs for some zest. Here are a couple of my favorite ab routines from Blogilates.
2. PELVIC-BELLY ORGASMIC ROCKSTAR BREATH
Now you're paying attention! I've heard it called a few different things, but I don't think this breathing exercise has an official name because it serves, like, every purpose. It's that awesome. This breath is IMO one of the quickest and most powerful things you can do to feel stronger, more in tune, and more confident in your body and mind.
You are probably already familiar with the yogic breath: Take a slow stream of air into the depths of your belly first, and as you exhale, empty the belly last. In the Pelvic-Belly variation, bring your attention to your pelvic floor (your genitals) as you inhale, and as air fills your belly, imagine it filling the space in your pelvis as well. Allow all those root muscles (or “bathroom muscles”) to relax and expand. As you exhale, begin to squeeze back up and in, deep into the core of your contracting belly, and hold it as tight as you can before inhaling and opening again. This can feel a little awkward at first, but just keep practicing it and you will find control in the rhythm.
Quick fix: After just a few of these breaths you may begin to feel more grounded, less anxious, and more decisive. Not to mention conditioning those pelvic muscles increases your sexual energy and range of sensation! Try it. Win at life.
3. STAND UP STRAIGHT
We've heard it all our lives. But what does that really mean and why is it important? There is more to good posture than meets the eye.
So go ahead, stand up. Notice your posture. Are you standing tall, open, and confident or are you hunched slightly (or a lot), your heart collapsed? How does it feel? How does it look? Adjusting the way you stand and walk has a tremendous effect on the way you see the world and how the world sees you.
Quick fix: Arms at your sides, balance your weight evenly on both feet. Roll your shoulders onto your back (imagine the circular rotation of your shoulder is a clock; if your shoulders fall forward at sort of a 9:00 position, crank them up over the 12:00 and back to a 3:00). Relax your arms away from your neck; your chest opens, your spine straightens.
Not done yet! Now notice your hips. If they’re tilted way back, you’ll see your spine is overextended, jutting your belly out, and your chest and butt are basically poppin’ it like it’s hot (which is really about as hot as a lopsided duck). Engage your lower abs as you scoop your pelvis under and forward so your spine flows more evenly into your hips. Hey, look! Your abs are even looking flatter! You should feel stable here; this is the foundation from which you can elongate and truly express your spine. This is the dancer and model look.
When you train yourself to start standing and walking like this more often, I guarantee your perspective will change. I used to be shy and lacking in confidence, hunching my shoulders and staring at the ground as I walked. Once I started standing tall, looking forward, my heart open to the world, the world itself began to open its heart to me.
Some people confuse confidence with arrogance. The way I see it, arrogance is just another barrier; confidence is a way of crossing those barriers. When you feel strong and secure in your body and your mind (if only for a day, an hour, a minute!), you are radiating confidence. This is what assures not only yourself but everyone around you that “I’m okay, you’re okay, it’s all okay.” This is a mighty gift to share!
With a regular “confidence practice” you can navigate any situation with comfort and grace (yeah, even sex!). Cultivate it within yourself, and everything around you will be affected.
Oh, but if all else fails: tequila shots.
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