In the Home Stretch at 34 Weeks!

It feels like I've been pregnant forever! Well, three months shy of a year is kind of a long time to harbor a growing, mobile parasite. Beautiful, exquisite, miraculous parasite of course, but I think technically a parasite nonetheless! I haven't written in over a week, but it seems like things have begun to exponentially speed up. Thanks to Mom and Peter, the nursery just came together in like two days. They brought home a crib, dresser, rug, crib set, and lamp. Then Mike and I assembled the bassinet, and voilà, suddenly we have a baby room. It's like watching time-lapse footage on those home improvement shows. Mom had bought me some diaper covers and the like already, but we went out together to get a few more items. Whereas I had almost nothing besides clothes a few days ago, now I have almost everything we're going to need to begin this thing.

I've exploded in size just in the last three days I think--we snapped a few pictures the other night, and I was shocked at how big I am. Unless the camera adds 50 pounds?! I've only gained 22, but it must be all in my belly because a friend of ours commented that it looks like I'm carrying more than one! Maybe it's a case of not noticing when your appearance or those you see every day changes because you're too close. But when you take a step back, WHOA!

Mike and I saw my midwife yesterday, and things couldn't be better. I'm gaining perfectly (22 lbs., not bad!), he's just the right size, and he is indeed pointed head down, ready to slide on out. Hold on one more month, Baby! We finally got a tour of two of the three birthing rooms upstairs; someone was in the third. Hopefully we get to see it next week (I'm going for weekly appointments now), as everyone says that is the biggest and best room. It has the most space and the largest jacuzzi tub. All three rooms have tubs, but in the smallest one you cannot actually birth in the tub, only labor. I'm just counting on being the only one having a baby at the time, so I get free reign!

My sleep is still quite satisfying; last Sunday was the only night I had a hard time dozing off. I'm sure that was just because we were going to buy our new car Monday morning, and I had a list of annoying things to do before leaving town at 9am. I was slightly stressed about keeping it all organized. But everything worked out perfectly, we do have our new (used) car, and once again my sleep is peaceful and sound. For the last two nights I've even woken up (to pee for the third or fourth time, of course that hasn't changed) on my back, comfortable and breathing easily. This is new. I guess it differs from day to day; sometimes I can lie on my back for as long as I want, and other times I immediately get to huffing and puffing if I even attempt it!

On Tuesday I went to another On the Ball Conditioning class at the MamasMove Center, the place where Mike and I are taking HypnoBirthing classes starting next week. It was better than the first class; the routine was varied from the first, which we can all appreciate. I wondered if it would be more or less challenging because I grow so much in just a week's time now, but I think it was about the same, if not slightly less. Baby and I made an agreement on the way there that I wouldn't push him too hard if he didn't push me too hard, and it worked out great. It was still challenging, in a good way, but I didn't feel like the goon I had been last week. Some of the instructor's modifications were better suited to my needs, but sometimes not. The leg work is great and leaves me sore for days afterward. I'm happy to notice the muscles I haven't been pushing over the last eight months. Since I'm doing all this naturally of course, I'm going to need the strength!

Okay well I am sick of sitting down, so I'm going to pop on over to Target in search of pants that fit and a yoga/birth ball. Next time I'll tell you what I think of MTV's "16 and Pregnant"...

Love!

The Rise and Fall of Preggo Stardust

This morning I arose at the crack of 8:45 to catch a 9:30 On the Ball Conditioning class at MamasMove, the pregnancy/new mom-centered hub for fitness and baby education classes. It's where I'll be taking my HypnoBirthing classes in a couple weeks. I walked in, grabbed a yoga ball, and waited for class to start. I was expecting hardly anyone to be there, but apparently these women do not work on Tuesday mornings (who am I to talk?). It was packed! I plopped down on the ball and couldn't help but notice the conversations which buzzed around me: naptimes, hyper kids, more naptimes. I swear the naptime conversation went on for 10 minutes, and then continued when class ended. They were all in their mid-30s, or at least looked it; I felt a little out of place.

Class was an hour long, but it could have been two. It kicked my ass! Eight months of no aerobic activity has really done a number on me. I've been keeping up with my 15 minutes of daily gentle yoga and Pilates, but that's really chicken shit compared to all the hip raises and ball lifting and Tae Bo inspired sequences we did. My months with Billy Blanks might as well have never happened. About halfway through I no longer recognized myself as the dancer I once was, and I became a total tard--a red-faced, shaking, unbalanced tard. The instructor gave modifications, but in some cases they were more challenging than the original movements, just directed away from the abs. When it was over though, I felt great. Slightly weak in the thighs, but with a sense of physical accomplishment I haven't felt at all since I've been pregnant!

In fact my endorphins were pumping so copiously that I called my mom at work on the way home to tell her fighting is painful, and she not only 100% agreed but said she'd been thinking of me right as I called. For the next few minutes we eerily finished each other's sentences, as we were thinking the exact same thoughts, and agreed to talk civilly tonight. I don't know what happened between us, but hopefully it can be put away for a good long while.

So life was great until I went to the grocery store! I brought a WIC check, thinking this will be a piece of cake. I've been wary because lately every time I've used a WIC check, at least one item gets rejected. But I've gotten all of this cereal, bread, and peanut butter before, they can't possibly turn it away. They all fall under the guidelines of acceptable items. Wrong! It gets stricter every fucking time I use a check! I got two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal, which is fine, but not the 'Pecan Bunches.' So I switched it with almonds. Whatever. I couldn't get the bread, Arnold 100% Whole Wheat with Ancient Grains, because there are too many whole grains! Are they kidding me?! Not only is the brand acceptable, but it clearly says 100% Whole Wheat on the front. I thought that was the only guideline. But no. It is so particular, there can be no other grains mixed in with the wheat. As if wheat is even good for you! It's not! I had to get a different brand that's purely Whole Wheat (and sugar, and brown sugar, and maltodextrin, and gluten, and lecithin...), with nothing of any real value like quinoa, barley, millet, and flax (she offered me Wonder Bread--now are you really kidding me??!). And last but not least, I couldn't get the peanut butter I usually get, All Natural with Flaxseed, because it has flaxseeds. Too fucking healthy for WIC. I told the cashier and manager that I was told explicitly there are no restrictions on peanut butter--I could even get "all natural"-- as long as it's not organic (which itself is shitty, but I understand it's political bigotry hard at work). The manager tried to tell me all natural means organic, and I crisply informed her otherwise. All natural is a marketing ploy, not a scientific fact. The flaxseeds though, Jesus Christ. Flaxseeds are one of the richest sources of omega-3 fatty acids, which are detrimental to healthy fetal brain development among many things, and how many Americans really get their daily dose of this invaluable nutrient? A sad, sad percentage I'm sure. I am so frustrated with the WIC program, it's like I dread going to the store and using it because I am not only forced to get food that is significantly less nutritious than what I want, but it's humiliating to hold up the line over a loaf of bread. If their aim is to provide pregnant women with nutrition, then they should take a goddamn nutrition class and learn what it is. You won't find it in Wonder Bread and Vanilla Bunches.

Everywhere I look I see illusion and complacent, backwards faces.