The Rise and Fall of Preggo Stardust

This morning I arose at the crack of 8:45 to catch a 9:30 On the Ball Conditioning class at MamasMove, the pregnancy/new mom-centered hub for fitness and baby education classes. It's where I'll be taking my HypnoBirthing classes in a couple weeks. I walked in, grabbed a yoga ball, and waited for class to start. I was expecting hardly anyone to be there, but apparently these women do not work on Tuesday mornings (who am I to talk?). It was packed! I plopped down on the ball and couldn't help but notice the conversations which buzzed around me: naptimes, hyper kids, more naptimes. I swear the naptime conversation went on for 10 minutes, and then continued when class ended. They were all in their mid-30s, or at least looked it; I felt a little out of place.

Class was an hour long, but it could have been two. It kicked my ass! Eight months of no aerobic activity has really done a number on me. I've been keeping up with my 15 minutes of daily gentle yoga and Pilates, but that's really chicken shit compared to all the hip raises and ball lifting and Tae Bo inspired sequences we did. My months with Billy Blanks might as well have never happened. About halfway through I no longer recognized myself as the dancer I once was, and I became a total tard--a red-faced, shaking, unbalanced tard. The instructor gave modifications, but in some cases they were more challenging than the original movements, just directed away from the abs. When it was over though, I felt great. Slightly weak in the thighs, but with a sense of physical accomplishment I haven't felt at all since I've been pregnant!

In fact my endorphins were pumping so copiously that I called my mom at work on the way home to tell her fighting is painful, and she not only 100% agreed but said she'd been thinking of me right as I called. For the next few minutes we eerily finished each other's sentences, as we were thinking the exact same thoughts, and agreed to talk civilly tonight. I don't know what happened between us, but hopefully it can be put away for a good long while.

So life was great until I went to the grocery store! I brought a WIC check, thinking this will be a piece of cake. I've been wary because lately every time I've used a WIC check, at least one item gets rejected. But I've gotten all of this cereal, bread, and peanut butter before, they can't possibly turn it away. They all fall under the guidelines of acceptable items. Wrong! It gets stricter every fucking time I use a check! I got two boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal, which is fine, but not the 'Pecan Bunches.' So I switched it with almonds. Whatever. I couldn't get the bread, Arnold 100% Whole Wheat with Ancient Grains, because there are too many whole grains! Are they kidding me?! Not only is the brand acceptable, but it clearly says 100% Whole Wheat on the front. I thought that was the only guideline. But no. It is so particular, there can be no other grains mixed in with the wheat. As if wheat is even good for you! It's not! I had to get a different brand that's purely Whole Wheat (and sugar, and brown sugar, and maltodextrin, and gluten, and lecithin...), with nothing of any real value like quinoa, barley, millet, and flax (she offered me Wonder Bread--now are you really kidding me??!). And last but not least, I couldn't get the peanut butter I usually get, All Natural with Flaxseed, because it has flaxseeds. Too fucking healthy for WIC. I told the cashier and manager that I was told explicitly there are no restrictions on peanut butter--I could even get "all natural"-- as long as it's not organic (which itself is shitty, but I understand it's political bigotry hard at work). The manager tried to tell me all natural means organic, and I crisply informed her otherwise. All natural is a marketing ploy, not a scientific fact. The flaxseeds though, Jesus Christ. Flaxseeds are one of the richest sources of omega-3 fatty acids, which are detrimental to healthy fetal brain development among many things, and how many Americans really get their daily dose of this invaluable nutrient? A sad, sad percentage I'm sure. I am so frustrated with the WIC program, it's like I dread going to the store and using it because I am not only forced to get food that is significantly less nutritious than what I want, but it's humiliating to hold up the line over a loaf of bread. If their aim is to provide pregnant women with nutrition, then they should take a goddamn nutrition class and learn what it is. You won't find it in Wonder Bread and Vanilla Bunches.

Everywhere I look I see illusion and complacent, backwards faces.

The Abundance Abounds!

I just wanted to write a quick thing in celebration of all the abundance that's been springing forth lately! It's amazing how switching to a relentless vibration of abundance has truly transformed my situation, just in the last couple weeks.

I have already successfully attracted over $1000 from freelance writing jobs since the new year began. That's insane! I've been enjoying the work tremendously as well, as it keeps me busy and revitalizes me, filling me with a new sense of purpose. Mike is also attracting money just about every day through his endeavors, resulting in weekly checks. Aaaand, drum roll please, the situation with Terrence Sanders is finally over. Last week I was extremely pleased to receive an apologetic email from him--simple, straightforward, and all I could hope for--along with the $100 check a few days later. I can't say I was too surprised because I knew I had opened a flood gate of energy when I wrote my exposé of him. Those few days before I'd received the email, I honestly had released all attachment to actually receiving the money. The only thing that mattered was that I had fulfilled my responsibility of using my words to spread the truth. Three days later, there's the check. That's a little more than a coincidence, don't you think?

I recently signed up for the WIC program (Women, Infants, and Children), which somewhat eases my grocery bills with a set of monthly coupon checks. To those who are unfamiliar with the program, it is a federal and state-funded nutrition program which provides vouchers for specific foods (bread, milk, cheese, peanut butter, produce, etc.) to pregnant and nursing mothers as well as families with young children. The vouchers only add up to like $50 a month, but it's something. I got twice the food the other day for half the price. The program emphasizes nutritious foods (I was pleased to learn you can only buy whole wheat or whole grain bread), which I believe makes it far more effective at securing a fairly nutrient-rich diet than just handing out food stamps, which are utilized far too often for Oreos and ice cream. Point being: I am abundant in good food!

These are just a couple examples of the influx of abundance that has come into our lives in such a short time, and I like to reiterate to everyone, including myself, my feelings of gratitude. That's what's making it all happen, after all, switching my gears to appreciating the abundance instead of focusing on the pain of what I don't have.

Now we can finally renew our car registration (for an exorbitant price) and buy a new muffler (it needs one desperately). Thank you, Universe! Keep it coming!