Morrissey Slaps a Bitch for A Totally Reasonable Joke

Morrissey is on thin ice. Poor health or not, he's having to put the pieces back together after canceling dozens of shows on this year's tour, and his recent clash with late-night host Jimmy Kimmel doesn't exactly help things.

Moz was scheduled to perform on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" last night, his first performance in weeks since laying low due to that dang bleeding ulcer and Barrett's esophagus. At the last minute he canceled due to moral objection to the cast of "Duck Dynasty" being fellow guests. I thought he was joking until I saw this: 

 Clearly, he was deadly serious. Folks at Pitchfork and Slicing Up Eyeballs have reported Morrissey's latest statement on the issue:

"I was disappointed with last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Show wherein our smiling host managed to ridicule depression (70% of Americans have experienced depression according to the National Institute of Mental Health). He then found time to ridicule healthy eating (the obesity epidemic in the U.S. costs $147 billion per year in medical expenditure), and he also ridiculed the notion that animals should be entitled to the possession of their own lives. Furthermore, he found time to jokingly promote gun-ownership - hugely amusing for the parents at Sandy Hook, no doubt. He also promoted his special guests Duck Dynasty – who kill beings for fun. None of the above issues are, of course, as important as Jimmy Kimmel himself, who has finally revealed his show to have an overwhelming loss of meaning. Tune in and relive the intellectual fog of the 1950s."

For the first time ever I'm going to keep my own agri-political opinions to myself because I think both Moz and Jimmy ('s writers) are totally justified. What kind of world would we live in without cunty militant don't-touch-that-burger Morrisseys? And what would we do without Jimmy Kimmels to make fun of them for it?

If only Moz had shown up and--I don't know--engaged in intellectual debate with his host and fellow guests. Even throwing a straight up tantrum would have been better etiquette than leaving Kimmel's producers five minutes to find a new musical act. Ratings would have gone through the roof. 

I can't wait to see what happens at the already infamous Staples Center show on Friday. Stay tuned. Tee-hee.

xx

Kirtan: Another Way to Get High on Yoga

I accepted a friend's invitation to have tea and go chanting last night, despite my strong desire to stay home and get drunk with Iggy Pop.

It's really a sin that I've only been to Dobrá Tea a few times because it is agonizingly lovely. Asheville's resident tea house is a fantastic facilitator for the magic of a tea ritual; no matter what an asshole I feel like upon entering, a sense of peace takes me up in its overbearing arms and says "STFU, you're fine."  The three of us girls shared a pot of lavender & lemon balm, a pleasant fusion of relaxation and stimulation. Before we shoved off, two of us even convinced our sugar-wary friend to surrender to lavender cake. Resistance is futile.

Probably using this photo illegally. Sry. Namaste

Afterwards we headed to the River Arts District (barely beating the train! yuurrss) for the Sangita Devi kirtan hosted by Nourish & Flourish every Tuesday night.  I hadn't been chanting in a couple of months, and while my night could have easily gone another way, I just kept following the feet that led me exactly where I needed to be.

It was a pretty full house; the crowd seems to grow and diversify each time I attend (it's not just for hippies anymore).  I sat down and sank in.

The act of chanting is another form of yoga called bhakti, not unlike the very physical kind (hatha) we typically think of as yoga.  Bhakti is a means of uniting with our divine energy through the heart, through devotion, through the calling of the energies by their names. Like a hymn, but much more powerful (and fun) in my opinion. This practice is not just for nutty Hare Krishnas; while I don't believe in the personified story versions of the ancient gods, I do believe in the power of sound. And I believe in myself.

Just as we chant "Om" before and after a hatha yoga practice, we do this in bhakti in order to address the divine and say "yo, I'm here. Let's do this."  And if you call it, it will come. Chanting these sounds is like sending a text that always gets a response. In conjunction with breath and intention, the sounds themselves are codes that invite this divine energy to work its magic in your life. 

    

The point is to go beyond your mind and let the energy move through you. Meditation through sound and movement (cue the head bobbing and zany dancing, though I've seen crazier things at rock concerts). Each time I practice this kind of yoga, it's that much easier to plug in. There came a point about halfway through that my eyelids felt so light and effortlessly closed, as if they were actually open. It wasn't Katie singing anymore, it was the part of me that has no name. Actually, no, thousands of names.

At the end I felt electric. Not wired, but woozy, like there really was something moving through my body. Not to get too hooey here, but during closing prayers I surrendered to a vision of my heart connected to everyone else's in the room, a vague artery system. It didn't last long because the more conscious I was of it, the more I urged it to happen instead of letting it happen, and I woke up. Lame.

You never know until you try. Experience kirtan at Nourish & Flourish every Tuesday night, 7:30-9. 

347 Depot St. #201, 28801

xx

             

  

Zounds! What We Learn When Allowed to Ask Thom Yorke Anything

Last week Thom Yorke and Radiohead producer/Atoms for Peace band member Nigel Godrich hosted a Reddit "Ask Me Anything" session.  The results were mostly steeped in shrewd hilarity, though we did learn a few key pieces of information:

-- It's pretty much confirmed that Radiohead is still doin' its thing amidst solo projects, which include, of course, Atoms for Peace's debut album launch and forthcoming tour (more dates TBA).  The boys have some kind of plan to bunker down in the studio in September to work some shit out but have already laid down two unfinished tracks in Jack White's studio.  SPANK.

--When it comes to what makes a Radiohead cut vs. an Atoms for Peace song, it's kind of whoever's in his orbit at the time. More Thom Yorke collaborations are welcome and can probably be expected.

--Like many other lauded lyricists before him, Thom makes it clear his lyrics don't mean shit on an intellectual level.  They're essentially stream of consciousness.  Take that as you will.

--What else?  Oh yes, Thom takes his coffee strong in the morning but takes plenty of lie down and "upside down" time before a show. One Reddit fan is finally convinced Thom Yorke is Batman.  I won't necessarily argue the point.

--When Thom goes for sushi, he digs the sea urchin roe.  Best not to send any as a gift.

No sex tapes to report at this time.

xx

Morrissey Announces Rescheduled Tour Dates

Moz appears to be "fit as a ferret" again and is chugging on with this ill-fated shitfield of a North American tour. 

Beginning with a "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" taping on Feb 26, he'll go on with his originally scheduled dates and then swing back for the ~20 shows he'd had to cancel since last October, along with some added cities.  The show at Davies Symphony Hall in San Francisco has been moved to The Warfield on Apr 30.

The previously nixed show in Flint, MI is now back on the menu. 

Best of all, his twice-disappointed but very patient fans here in Asheville should be seeing him Apr 2 at The Orange Peel.  So either this really will happen or we'll get an epic doozy of an April Fool's joke.  Win-win, really.  

Morrissey 2013 North American Tour Dates

2/27 San Diego, CA @ Balboa Theater
3/1 Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center*
3/2 Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood High School
3/4 Davis, CA @ Robert Mondavi Center
3/6 Seattle, WA @ Moore Theatre
3/8 Portland, OR @ Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
3/9 San Francisco, CA @ Regency Ballroom
3/18 Lawrence, KS @ Liberty Hall
3/19 Lincoln, NE @ Rococo Theatre
3/22 Minneapolis, MN @ Orpheum
3/23 Chicago, IL @ Chicago Theater
3/27 Clear Lake, IA @ Surf Ballroom
3/29 Nashville, TN @ Ryman Auditorium
3/30 Atlanta, GA @ Cobb Energy Center 
4/2 Asheville, NC @ Orange Peel
4/3 Richmond, VA @ National
4/6 Philadelphia, PA @ Tower Theater
4/8 Flint, MI @ Whiting Auditorium
4/9 Indianapolis, IN @ Murat Theater
4/12 Beaumont, TX @ Jefferson Theater
4/13 Pharr, TX @ Pharr Entertainment Center
4/15 Dallas, TX @ Palladium
4/16 Austin, TX @ Austin Music Hall
4/19 Phoenix, AZ @ Marquee Theater
4/20 Las Vegas, NV @ The Chelsea at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
4/23 El Paso, TX @ Tricky Falls
4/26 Denver, CO @ Temple Hoyne Buell Theatre
4/28 Salt Lake City, UT @ Kingsbury Hall
4/30 San Francisco, CA @ The Warfield
*Special guests Patti Smith and her band
**Kristeen Young will open on all nights

Unknown Pleasures Await

I woke several times throughout last night's 14-hour sleep (shut up, it was a reeaallly long Sunday) with this Joy Division song in my head.  Yikes, wonder what that means. :/

Anyway, enjoy a live clip of "New Dawn Fades" here, any reason to see Ian Curtis' mad dancing skillz:

It's fitting enough in the wake of former Joy Division bassist (now of New Order) Peter Hook's new memoir Unknown Pleasures: Inside Joy Division, released last month.  From what I understand, this is the first full tale about the iconic band to be told by one of the original members.

I only discovered the book's existence upon seeing it in Malaprop's a week or so ago.  I haven't read it yet, but obviously I want to.  So for any AVL Joy Division fans, it's at Malaprop's.  If you buy it you should lend it to me. 

For a band that was so short-lived, its weighty influence and endurance in rock history is unmatched.  Reading the intimate untold stories should be nothing less than an absolute pleasure. 

Yoga Drunk

Fuck, it's hot in here was naturally my first thought as I stepped into the Asheville Community Yoga studio, lined wall-to-wall with fellow yoga-goers. We were at capacity, 55 of us packed together for the Wednesday night Hot Vinyasa Flow with Michael.

Now I admit I have a habit of going on yoga kicks, like anything else; I keep it up for a few months and let it slide away in enthusiastic pursuit of other things i.e. alcohol, cigarettes, melancholy, internet TV. The usual.

But I always come back to yoga.  I used to think it was simply because it made my body feel good, as when I am not physically active on the regular, my body feels like shit and I slip easily into depression. Not to mention that in our media culture the "yoga bod" is the most important thing ever. If you don't have it, you're useless. You'd better at least have a great Twitter following.

But I am reminded, as I've been exploring yoga in community (I used to exclusively practice alone), that the point of yoga is not necessarily one extreme or the other. It's not purely a physical regimen ("otherwise we're all at Gold's Gym," said Michael), but neither need we approach it as an intimidating, restrictive spiritual pursuit that can only be appreciated in some future, nebulous context of "enlightenment."  In another life, even. Nah, enlightenment is right here, right now. And right here. And right now. Oh, there it is again.

As sweat poured off me (not quite as awkwardly as it once did), Michael emphasized over and over how little the actual poses have to do with our advancement as practitioners or "enlightenment" or whatever. He values the poses at about 5% and the breath at 95%. I'm thinking, Great, dude, I'm about to turn my mat into a slip-n-slide and it doesn't even matter. But I see truth to that. The physicality of it is not the ultimate goal; asanas are there as a tool to nudge us along, tools to help us practice the art of finding joy and righteousness in something as challenging as One Legged Crow or as simple as bending over. I compare it to taking a psychedelic. The drug itself is not the point of the experience, merely a shortcut to see what we might never know is really there. 

What's really there, what's beyond the veil, is appreciation and joy for, like, everything. Greater love for not only our families, careers, and mountains and things, but deep, guttural joy in listening to a great album. Sending a letter. Washing the dishes. There's even room for that former lover who was such a disappointment and really fucking hurt you and obviously has no heart at all. In that vein, we must be just as loving with ourselves, as our perception of a relationship says more about us than the other person.

This kind of love is accessed through intention and breath. It is the force that drives us to be there, to show up to the practice for the sake of being a better person. It's about finding that sweet spot, the unlimited reserve of sweet spots that allow us to feel how good everything around us really feels. We could twist ourselves into pretzels all day, but that's just empty muscle memory without awareness of the vital and sizzling molecules in and around our bodies as we do it. 

I've been going to these classes with clear intentions, which has been fun to play with. Mostly they revolve around a similar idea: to cultivate greater power over the things/people I let drain me and to check that power with the softness to meet every reality with compassion. Like finding a solid muscular stance in Warrior Two and then relaxing into alignment, out of strength comes softness. My experimentation with intention has helped me to realize that I really do practice yoga not only in service to myself but also to everyone else. What good am I to this world if I cannot give and receive love gracefully? And you?

Enlightenment is not for a select few. It's not something that exists in a far-off place. Heaven is a place on earth, and it's available to us any time we want to access it.  All we have to do is breathe it in.

www.ashevillecommunityyoga.com 

One of the Greatest Albums Ever: Strangeways, Here We Come

In case you forgot or maybe never knew.  I was just listening to The Smiths' classic Strangeways, Here We Come (1987) again today and was reminded of how much it kicks ass.  If I were to make a list of My 100 Favorite Albums Everrr (oh god I should), Strangeways, Here We Come would definitely be in the top 20. Or 15. Hell, 8.  And well, considering all the other brilliant shit I've got to fit in my top 10 that's really saying something.

Also, I like any artist who wears his own band t-shirt.

Get well, Moz, Asheville is waiting for you. Ya cunt.

Track list:
1. A Rush and a Push and the Land is Ours
2. I Started Something I Couldn't Finish
3. Death of a Disco Dancer
4. Girlfriend in a Coma
5. Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
6. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
7. Unhappy Birthday
8. Paint a Vulgar Picture
9. Death at One's Elbow
10. I Won't Share You

Thom Yorke's Band Atoms for Peace Debuts New Album

Atoms for Peace debut album Amok has been a long time coming, since the extra-Radiohead Thom Yorke baby formed in late 2009.  

Alongside Thom, the band consists of Flea of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich, Beck/R.E.M. drummer Joey Waronker, and percussionist Mauro Refosco (yeah, I don't know him either, but I'm sure he's a swell guy). 

Like Yorke's other solo work, Amok is digital quicksand, sucking you in with its jerky, sometimes spastic mixes.  But they're not restless; like all Yorke/Godrich productions, these electronic experiments seem to know what they're doing and where they're going.  As per usual, Yorke's ethereal voice navigates the wiry sea with intuition and grace.

Much of what we love about Yorke's non-Radiohead work is that it illustrates in gorgeously unexpected ways how thin the line between man and machine is.  At certain points during Amok I find myself wondering "why does he even need a band?" and then I hear some funky bass that is unmistakably Flea, and I am reminded.  Actually, thanks again to Flea's backbone of a bass line, "Stuck Together Pieces" is quite groovy. 

Atoms for Peace reminds us that we're all pretty much cyborgs now, and clearly, there ain't no shame.

Amok is streaming live until the official release February 25 (or 26, no one can seem to decide).  Dig it!

"Blue Dress" -- Depeche Mode Ukulele Cover

This is a video I recorded last year, but I wanted to share it with you here now!  Clearly, I love Depeche Mode, and I'm quite fond of my ukulele, so I put the two together in this cover of "Blue Dress" from their classic 1990 album Violator.

Nom. xx 

PosterBrain Impresses

This poster-printing company certainly left an impression on me! I kind of knew I'd like doing business with PosterBrain at the first glimpse of their  tagline: "So Super Fast & Easy...You'll Want to Marry Us."  All right, cheeky poster printers, challenge accepted. Just hold off on the champagne fountain.  

The way it works is simple. You upload a high resolution image or file, choose your poster size, and you can see immediately how clear your print will be depending on file size.  

I knew going in that I wanted Depeche Mode posters, since I'm not super impressed with official ones. I selected a couple hi-res photos I liked from an online gallery and uploaded them to PosterBrain. In no time I'd ordered one in the small size (16''x24'') and the other in a medium (24''x36''). They both turned out gorgeous. Color, light, and clarity are impeccable. Now I can stare into Martin L Gore's eyes ANYTIME I WANT in the comfort of my room. This service is great for creeps like me. 

The order came out to just under $50, which in my opinion is well worth it for custom-designed posters.

Shipping speed was okay: I placed the order on a Saturday, it shipped the following Monday, and I received my posters on Thursday. Their customer appreciation borders on obsessive brown-nosing (you'll meet Poppy, the overzealous bot), but they do include a Werther's candy in your poster tube. Blam.

When it's high quality, affordable custom posters you want, I wouldn't recommend anyone but PosterBrain. Unless of course I were to find a better company. Then I would recommend them. 

Yay! Posters!